Newton's unpublished laws

I suspect that Newton wrote these after he was hit in the head by the apple.

1.     Law of Queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

2.     Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

3.     Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. In the kitchen this applies to handling flour, meats and anything else that covers one’s hands

4.     Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

5.     Law of the Alibi: If you tell a friend you were late because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

6.     Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!

7.     Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

8.     Law of the Theatre: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

9.     Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

10.   Law of the Bath: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

11.   Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone with whom you don’t want to be seen.